![]() Then, about halfway through, Earth Girls forgets about the music and turns into a dance-off. They’re the sort of quintessential Eighties pabulum that could only have been loved in the moment. I want to be honest with you - the first couple of numbers are relatively close together and they aren’t very good. It just happens and.congratulations, you’re watching a musical. ![]() Yes, she is.Īnd what’s weird about this is that the film gives no indication whatsoever that at any time anyone is going to break out in song. So if you ever find yourself in the same boat, thinking “is Geena Davis really lip syncing?” remember that the answer is yes. I had heard of Earth Girls are Easy, but genuinely knew nothing about the plot. Most of the things I watch for Viking Night are films that I’ve already seen at least once before, and often am already pretty familiar with. So, what might have been a an excruciating regurgitation of trope is instead something of a perverse joy.Īnd that’s right before you realize you’re watching a musical. But even when he’s dressed like an electric blue Wookie who can’t speak American Goldblum is so.Goldblum. The aliens have an ability to mimic sound, and learn a sort of broken English by imitating the television. And the only way to make Jeff Goldblum to take away his ability to clearly communicate. Geena Davis doesn’t get enough credit for her comedic chops, and it’s nothing less than amazing to see Jim Carrey in a red monkey-suit, giving it his all because he was nowhere near famous yet. It gets better once they make contact with Valerie. I can think of no other way to describe the scene as to say that I’ve never gone from “horrified” to “confused” to “suffocating laughter” and then right back to “confused” so quickly.ever. Imagine the three actors I just mentioned, dressed like day-glo space-apes, arguing in nonsensical gibberish as their malfunctioning vessel plunges toward Geena Davis’ backyard. The inside of their vessel looks like what toddlers dream about.Īnd it makes for some of the most unexpectedly hilarious physical comedy I’ve seen in a long time. ![]() Their native tongue sounds like someone took acid and started reading from Bjork’s diary. Zeebo (Damon Wayans), Wiploc (Jim Carrey) and Mac (Jeff Goldblum) are repulsive, hairy looking humanoids whose clothing consists of tight helmets and colorful plastic man-thongs. Yes, that’s kind of creepy and it sounds like a deleted scene from Heavy Metal 2000, but you won’t have time to think about it. A trio of bored travelers are on board, scanning the planet for beautiful women as they happen upon Valerie. ![]() Yet as alien as that sounds, the real story is up in orbit.Ī vaguely phallic looking starship happens to pass overhead while Valerie is sunbathing by the pool. She has no idea that he’s a serial philanderer and all-around terrible person, or that this is the only reason I can think of for being frigid toward a young Geena Davis. Ted pays little attention to his future wife, and she blames herself for the rift. Valerie (Geena Davis) and Ted (Charles Rocket) are on the eve of their wedding, but their relationship is anything but blissful. Earth Girls are Easy starts out as a domestic comedy about a dimwitted Valley girl and her unfaithful fiancee. So much better in fact, that history might have been different.īut you’d never guess from the first few minutes. Only one of those things is true, and had someone known in time it might have been even better than it was. It’s a movie I’d always avoided it because according to history, it was a terrible film that lost a lot of money. And I propose he start with a little movie called Earth Girls are Easy. This summer, only one man can give humanity back what it’s lost. The kinds of movies that, had the makers known what they’d had at the time, might have been outright masterpieces. Nobody ever talks about films that were kind of “meh” when they came out, but were still enough fun to have potential. A good idea, but as much as humanity would benefit from Sex and the City being erased from the timeline, this was not the answer. At first I went with the obvious idea that each week, he’d travel to the past to right one of the most horrific entertainment “wrongs” in history. Only this time Jean Claude Van Damme is not playing a police officer, he’s playing a film producer. I imagine a television series, meant to serve as a sequel to 1994’s Timecop. Without meaning to or even really trying, I just may have saved entertainment. VIking Night: Earth Girls Are Easy By Bruce Hall March 14, 2018
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